


Divine Punishment

by todxrxki



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, everyone else makes cameos, fake dating turns into real love, felix is oblivious as hell, lowkey background hilda/marianne and others idk, sylvain's plans aren't always amazing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-05
Updated: 2019-09-05
Packaged: 2020-10-10 16:40:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20531183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/todxrxki/pseuds/todxrxki
Summary: Felix has known his whole life that he’s a sucker for Sylvain Gautier’s schemes. As a child, he’d been roped by Sylvain into whatever stupid plan Sylvain conceptualized, chasing after him like the moon chases the sun through the sky. And apparently he hasn’t learned a single thing since then, because he relents and says, “Fine, whatever, but you owe me, Gautier,” as if he could deny anything Sylvain asks of him. // In which Sylvain comes up with an insane plot to have Felix accompany him to a dance, and it kind of works out. A Sylvix high school fake dating AU.





	Divine Punishment

Over the course of the many years that Felix has known him, Felix has become accustomed to Sylvain’s habits. He really has.

  
So the new unpleasant feeling that’s begun to rise in Felix’s chest when Sylvain starts flirting incessantly with girls just doesn’t make any sense at all.

The two of them are walking down the hallway at school, as they usually do. Ever since that traitor Glenn hinted to Sylvain that Felix “clearly has some deficiencies making friends”, Sylvain has insisted on accompanying him to walk to every single class, regardless of whether they’re in the class together or not. Sylvain’s prattling on about his history lesson and how cool the wars were - maybe the ones fought with swords, Felix thinks irritably - when Dorothea walks by them in the hallway.

  
Sylvain’s head snaps around automatically, even though she hasn’t spoken. His face lights up even brighter. It’s disgusting, Felix thinks, as Sylvain chirps, “Oh, beautiful Dorothea! Your eyes shine more perfectly than ever on this tumultuous winter day!” It’s a pretty mild day, actually - cold but still with a bit of sunshine. “And that outfit!” It’s just a sweater dress with tights and boots, Dorothea’s specialty, but Sylvain’s practically drooling. “Man, I could just admire you all day!”

“I appreciate it, Sylvain,” Dorothea says with a wink. She walks away, and Sylvain practically falls all over himself.

“Did you see that?!” Sylvain exclaims, making stupid awful goo-goo eyes in Dorothea’s direction as she continues sauntering down the hallway. “She winked at me!”

“It’s Dorothea,” Felix says flatly. “Similar to a certain idiot I know, her default mode is flirting.”

“Yeah, but she wasn’t totally revolted by my flirting,” Sylvain says.

“Well, she’s the only one.” Felix doesn’t like the burning sensation in his chest, so he keeps walking, letting Sylvain scamper along behind him.

“Do you think I should ask her to the ball?” Sylvain asks urgently.

Ah, yes. There it is. The topic that Sylvain hasn’t been able to keep off of his lips for five damn seconds these days. The annual Winter Ball, the most important day of the year for Garreg Mach High School students, especially the seniors. Truthfully, Felix couldn’t give less of a shit about it. He’d rather have a sword in his hand than a girl’s hand any day. But despite Felix’s many, _many _threats, Sylvain still hasn’t let the subject go.

Felix scowls directly at Sylvain. “Like I said, idiot, it’s Dorothea. She probably has at least ten dates by now.”

Sylvain deflates. “Yeah,” he admits, “you’ve got a point, I guess. But I’m running out of options, man! The dance is a week away, and I’ve been rejected by twelve girls, five ran away when I asked, three laughed in my face, and six asked how many other girls I’d asked, then two slapped me when I told them.”

Felix does the mental math. “You’ve asked out twenty-six girls?!”

“That’s not the point,” Sylvain complains. “The point is your old buddy Sylvain is gonna have to go the ball alone and look like a complete idiot.”

It’s a useless sentiment. Felix doesn’t get why it’s a big deal. After all, the grand majority of their friends don’t have a date. “You could ask Mercedes. She’d probably take pity on your pathetic ass and go with you.”

“_Feeeelix,_” Sylvain whines in response. The noise is grating, yet somehow Felix almost feels bad for him - _almost._ “I don’t want a pity date.”

“It’s a pity date or nothing, asshole.”

“Hmmm,” Sylvain hums as they keep walking down the hallway. They’re nearly at Felix’s classroom when Sylvain makes a loud noise of realization that nearly makes Felix jump out of his skin. “I’ve got an idea!”

“Don’t yell out of nowhere like that,” Felix gripes. “What’s this oh-so-amazing idea, then?”

“I’m offended by your sarcasm and lack of faith in me,” Sylvain complains. “Come with me to the dance.”

For a fraction of a second, Felix thinks he’s serious. That somehow he’s realized that flirting with all the girls is fruitless, that he wants to be with Felix, of all people, on this night that’s so important to him, and for whatever stupid fucking reason it feels nice. Then Felix comes to his senses. Sylvain is Sylvain, and that means there’s some ulterior motive for wanting to accompany him, so Felix says, “Why the fuck would I do that?”

“Because,” Sylvain says dramatically, “the girls just don’t want me because they haven’t seen how amazing of a boyfriend I can be! Which means that all I have to do is show everyone how amazingly romantic I can be at this dance, and afterwards all the girls will be begging me to sweep them off their feet.”

“In case you somehow haven’t noticed, Sylvain, I’m a guy.”

Sylvain swings an arm around his shoulders, bumping their shoulders together. “Yes, bastard, I’ve noticed. So I’m hoping that means girls might not see you as a threat as much.”

“What the _fuck _is that supposed to mean?”

Sylvain just laughs, and Felix has never been so torn between kicking his ass and wanting to see him grin like that for the rest of his life. “Like, they might not think I’m as serious, I dunno. But it’s an amazing plan! Come on, Felix, you’ve gotta do it.”

“Why not ask Ingrid?” Felix asks.

Sylvain just stares at him. “Have you met Ingrid?”

“Fair point,” Felix says, crossing his arms. “What do I get in return?”

“My undying love and affection?”

Felix just stares flatly at him in response. He’s sure that Sylvain will realize how stupid of a response that is, and finally Sylvain exhales and shakes his head. “Fine, fine, I’ll polish your entire sword collection, even though I’m still not sure who the hell needs 257 swords -“

“Who doesn’t?”

“But I’ll polish them all, and I’ll be real careful, I swear! Also, I’ll buy your school lunches for a month so you can spend that money on like, sword shit.”

“Hm.” Felix stares at Sylvain, at his stupid big puppy dog eyes that are boring into his very soul. He’s known his whole life that he’s a sucker for Sylvain Gautier’s schemes. As a child, he’d been roped by Sylvain into whatever stupid plan Sylvain conceptualized, chasing after him like the moon chases the sun through the sky. And apparently he hasn’t learned a single thing since then, because he relents and says, “Fine, whatever, but you owe me, Gautier,” as if he could deny anything Sylvain asks of him.

Sylvain whoops and pulls him into a hug. “Hell yeah, man!” he yells, his hug far too tight. It's enough to knock the air out of Felix's lungs. “Okay, okay, I’ve got some planning to do! I’ll talk to you later, baby!” He lets go and blows a kiss in Felix’s direction.

“You still aren’t allowed to do _any _of that, you fucking idiot,” Felix yells after him, but Sylvain just tosses him a grin over his shoulder.

He hides his face in his arms during class to try to disguise his still-flaming cheeks.

.

By the time Felix gets to his locker the next morning, he’s gotten at least fifty stares, ten whispers, six people pointing at him, and one girl tripping in the hallway to get a better look at him. He’s well aware that there can only be one culprit. Slamming his locker shut, he glares at the person standing on the other side of it.

“Hey, hey, tone it down a little! What could I have possibly done, my lovely fake boyfriend?” Sylvain asks. “I just got here.”

“You told the whole school we’re going to the dance together,” Felix says in an accusatory tone.

“Well, yeah, that’s kinda the point,” Sylvain says, scratching the back of his neck in his typical annoying, carefree manner. “Gotta get the ladies buzzing before the big day, y’know? But sorry, I should’ve let you know. Forgot how much you hate people staring at you and shit.”

“I’m already regretting agreeing to this.”

“Aw, c’mon, it’s gonna be a great experience,” Sylvain says, way too close to his ear. He jabs Felix twice in the side. Once they get to Felix’s classroom, Sylvain says, “I’ll save a seat by me at lunch, yeah?”

“Whatever,” Felix says, because he knows Sylvain well enough to know that know matter what Felix says, Sylvain will do it anyways.

They usually end up sitting next to each other regardless, even before this entire mess started. It’s their thing, in a way. When Sylvain’s not desperately chasing after women, the two of them end up gravitating to each other, as if controlled by a magnetic pull. It’s why after all these years Felix hasn’t managed to get rid of Sylvain yet. Not that he’s sure he’d really want to. But somehow, sitting next to each other at today’s lunch, Sylvain mentioning that he’s doing it, seems more significant somehow.

The two of them show up first, and then Ingrid makes her way to the table, slamming her tray onto the table with a loud bang. “So you two were just gonna let me know from Lucy in first period English that the two of you were _together_?”

“Oh damn, the rumor mill got out of hand real quick,” Sylvain says sheepishly. “I just said we were going to the dance together, god.”

“So you’re not together?” Ingrid demands.

They hadn’t exactly gotten around to discussing that much, unfortunately. Felix glances over to Sylvain as if to signal that he’s fine with whatever Sylvain wants to say - it’s not like the entire school doesn’t already think Felix is gay, anyways, with how damn often he talks about swords. Sylvain shrugs and then grins. “I mean, we kind of are. But it’s like, a low-key together, you know?”

Ingrid crosses her arms, eyes narrowing. “So you two finally get together after years and years of stupidly dancing around each other and you expect me to believe it’s a low-key thing?” Neither Felix nor Sylvain answer, and she groans. “I hate you both. Really. But congratulations, I guess.”

Years and years of stupidly dancing around each other, huh? Felix pushes the thought out of his head before he can really dwell on it. It’s a dangerous direction to take. Instead, he just frowns and unconsciously leans into Sylvain when Sylvain drapes himself all over Felix. He doesn’t think about what that means, either.

Mercedes offers her sincerest congratulations, and Annette squeals and says they’ll be the cutest couple at the dance. Felix doesn’t give a shit about what Dimitri thinks, but Dimitri still gives them a nod and says they’re a suitable match, which just makes Felix want to strangle him even more. Dedue just gives a slight tilt of the head in approval. And Ashe grins brightly at them and tells them that he’d been expecting this, which is equally as weird since it’s not even fucking real. Felix buries his head in his arms and contemplates death. He’s grateful that it’s not out of the usual for him, so he doesn’t throw off Sylvain’s apparently perfectly crafted plan.

After school, Sylvain starts babbling away. “Okay, so I’m thinking we wear matching suits. Color coordinated somehow. Would you be open to wearing a colorful suit?”

“Absolutely fucking not.”

“Okay, okay, fine, no badass red and blue. How about I wear a white suit and you wear a black suit, and I wear a black bowtie and yours is white?”

Felix can’t find anything to complain about with that - it’s about what he’d wear usually, but probably with a black bowtie instead. So he just shrugs. “Fine, whatever.”

Sylvain beams from ear to ear. “Okay, cool! Now, what about romantic gestures? I’m guessing a proposal is out of line for a high school dance -“

“Are you fucking stupid? Girls will not talk to you if they think you’re engaged.”

“-but maybe I could dedicate a song to you? Oh shit, what song? What songs do girls think are romantic?”

“I don’t _know,_” Felix says. He’s probably the worst person to ask when it comes to these things, after all. “Go home and search on Google or something. Stop annoying me with it.”

“Oh, believe me, I will,” Sylvain says. He ducks down to press a kiss to Felix’s cheek, then pulls away, that stupid, awful grin still on his face. “Get ready to be swept off your feet, _boyfriend_.”

As Sylvain darts away, probably to avoid Felix’s righteous wrath, Felix whispers to his dangerously fast heart, “Shut up or I’ll slay you myself.”

.

“Hey,” Sylvain says the next day as they walk down the main hallway, Sylvain draping his stupid body all over Felix’s side again, “look, girls are looking.”

“Edelgard’s looking,” Felix says with a slight snicker.

Sylvain shudders. “She’s hot, but I feel like she might actually murder me.”

“I also might actually murder you,” Felix replies, jabbing an elbow into Sylvain’s (too close) ribs pointedly.

“Oh, please. You’re a total softie on the inside, and I’m one of the few that get the privilege of knowing it.” Sylvain leans in, fluttering his (stupidly long) eyelashes against Felix’s cheek. “Sweetheart.”

“I have 258 swords just gathering dust. Would you like to be their first victim?”

“You got another one?” Sylvain yelps, and Felix just looks at him pointedly. Sylvain’s gaze travels back to the girls that they’re walking by. “Look, Lysithea’s looking.”

“She’s a freshman, and also I think she might actually despise you. Good instincts.”

“Hilda?”

“Isn’t she dating that quiet girl? The one with the blue hair?”

“Oh, Marianne? Man, they’re both gorgeous! No wonder they wouldn’t go for a five like me.”

Felix makes sure he’s not looking at Sylvain when he says, “On a good day, you might be a five and a half.”

“Ah?! Was that just a compliment?” Sylvain grins, nuzzling his head into the space between Felix’s neck and shoulder far too aggressively. “Aw, Fefe, I love you too!”

“Get the fuck off of me, degenerate,” Felix says, frantically trying to extract his body from Sylvain’s annoying arms. “And never call me that again.”

He tries to stop the stupid thoughts that rush into his mind about _Has his hair always been that soft? _and _It fucking sucks that he’s only doing all of this to get girls’ attention._

.

Felix is well aware that he’s in the minority in that he’s never cared about attention from girls. As a child, he’d been obsessed with the idea of fighting, so his parents had signed him up for classes: every kind of martial art available and, because he harassed them nonstop, the only man to teach sword fighting in their general area. Ever since his first class, it had become the love of Felix’s life, for lack of a better word. He’s never wanted to think about girls or what they might find attractive in a man. So now, when Sylvain is sprawled on his floor, asking him which cologne he thinks will lure in girls, Felix has no fucking clue what he should say.

“Can’t you go do this with literally anyone else?” Felix growls, kicking at him.

“No, ‘cause I have it on good authority that you like having me here.”

“I’ve never said anything to that effect in my entire life.”

“Glenn told me many times,” Sylvain sings. “Also, when I walked in today, he looked like he wanted to hug me. Said you’re more tolerable when you spend time with me.”

“What the fuck - I’m gonna kill him. Also, why don’t you take this opportunity to start making good on your promises and start polishing my swords?”

“Fine,” Sylvain sighs, pushing himself to his feet. “Though I think Glenn would like it significantly less if I told him I was here to polish his brother’s sword - oh my god, Felix, that actually hurt.”

Once Sylvain is set up with polishing paste and a rag, though, he starts running his mouth again. “Seriously though, Felix. What cologne is attractive to girls?”

“How the hell would I know?”

“Well, what kind of cologne do you like?”

“I’m not a girl, you complete fucking idiot." 

“Okay, just tell me anyways, though!”

Felix sighs. “Fine, if it means you’ll shut up about it.” He pauses. He’s never thought about it that much, but well… “The way you smell already is fine. Whatever cologne you’re using is… good, I guess.”

“So you like the way I smell?” Sylvain says, turning around to beam at him. “Aww, Felix, I never knew you were so sentimental!”

Felix throws a shoe at him that Sylvain narrowly dodges, and hates that the first thing to pop into his head is _only for you, _even though it’s the truth. Even though he’d never do the dumb shit he does for Sylvain for anyone else, even though he’d never show the softer parts of himself to anyone else, even though he’d never compliment anyone else the way he does Sylvain. He’s becoming more and more afraid that it might actually mean something.

“Oh! Also, how should I style my hair to make girls fall in love with me?”

Something that it clearly doesn’t mean to Sylvain.

.

The day before the dance, Hilda invites Sylvain to her afterparty.

Well, Sylvain and Felix, to be more exact. She stops them in the hallway and says, “Hey guys! Claude and I are throwing a party after the ball, and we would love it if you two would come! It’s not a party without you.” She then gives a weird, exaggerated wink.

“Y-yeah,” the supposedly smooth Sylvain stutters out, his eyes wide.

“He means to say we’ll be there,” Felix cuts in irritatedly.

“Oh, great! I’m so glad to hear it!” Hilda chirps. “I’ll let Claude know to up the supplies, if you know what I mean! See you then!” She walks off with a big wave and Felix turns to Sylvain.

Sylvain’s eyes are stupidly wide as he says, “Oh my god, did you hear that? Girls are actually taking notice of me! The plan is already working, and I haven’t even gone to the ball yet! This is gonna work, man!”

“Hilda invited you to her party,” Felix points out. “Hilda has a girlfriend.”

“Yeah, yeah, but she’s still a girl,” Sylvain says, poking him. “And that means more single, available girls might also start talking to me because of this! You’re the best best friend ever, Felix, you know that?”

As Sylvain takes hold of his arm again to walk him the rest of the way to class, Felix hates himself for the way that his stomach recoils at the idea of more girls talking to Sylvain and the fact that Sylvain had referred to him as a best friend - just a best friend, only a friend, nothing more.

Get used to it, he tells himself. That’s all you’ve got.

.

Felix spends way too much time getting ready for the stupid dance that he doesn’t even want to go to in the first place.

He hasn’t worn his suit in actual fucking years, so he spends forever trying to wrangle it into looking presentable and not awkward. Then he has to figure out how to tie a dumb bowtie - who even wears bowties these days, anyways? - and then there’s the issue of his hair. Does he want it in its standard ponytail? Down seems like a little too much, but maybe in a fancier hairstyle? He settles for a ponytail, but a neater one, with a few strands coming down to frame his face or whatever.

Glenn, because he is Glenn and still hasn’t left the house for whatever stupid reason, is there to tease him. “Aw, my baby brother leaving for his senior ball,” he croons, patting Felix’s cheek.

Felix bats his hand away. “Die.”

“Only if you do first,” Glenn says. “Have fun with _Sylvain._”

There’s something loaded behind the word, but Felix ignores it. Instead, he just nods curtly and tells Sylvain to call him when he arrives. Under no circumstances is he to ring the bell. Thankfully, for once in his life Sylvain listens to him, and Felix walks outside to find - _a limo_?

Sylvain grins sheepishly. “I, uh, figured we should get to the ball in style. This will definitely make all the girls jealous, am I right?”

“I’m sure they’ll be climbing all over each other just to get to your car,” Felix deadpans. He turns from the car back to Sylvain, and his eyes widen once he sees Sylvain holding something out to him. “Is this - you got me a boutonniere?”

Sylvain gives a slight nod as he leans forward to gently fasten it onto the lapel of Felix’s jacket. His touch is soft and gentle, and Felix does his best to stop from shivering. “It wouldn’t be a romantic evening without flowers, would it?”

“Had I known we were doing this, I would have also brought one,” Felix says crossly.

“It’s fine,” Sylvain says. He straightens up and makes eye contact with Felix, his eyes sparkling. “I know you, and I know all about your complete ignorance of any kind of social traditions, especially those that have to do with romance. So I was kinda expecting this. I don’t mind being the master of romance. Y’know, just for tonight.”

“Oh, shut up,” Felix says with a nasty glare, but then Sylvain is holding out his hand to guide Felix to the limo, and even though there’s no one around that could possibly see, Felix takes it.

On the ride to the ball, Sylvain is notably less talkative than usual. It’s not as though he’s completely silent, but he only speaks sporadically and about the most random of things - “Hey, d’you think Lysithea’s hair is her natural color?” “Would you rather ride a dragon or a pegasus, if you had to choose one?”. Felix chalks it up to Sylvain being nervous about having to show off in front of a lot of women at the ball. The thought makes him a little queasy, and he once again chooses to ignore why that could be.

Once they finally get there, Sylvain rushes to get out of the limousine. Felix is well aware of why; it’s clear that Sylvain wants to get out first so that he can open the door for Felix, like some master of chivalry. It’s obnoxious, but Felix lets him have his fun, if just for tonight. Once he’s got the door open, Sylvain extends a gallant hand towards Felix. “M’lady,” he says with a stupid shit-eating grin.

“Being at a dance will not stop me from kicking your ass if necessary,” Felix hisses under his breath. He takes Sylvain’s hand, though, and emerges into the crowd.

Sylvain drags him to the entrance of the venue that the school’s rented out for tonight. If Felix were anyone else, he might have called it magical; instead, since he’s himself, it’s as though a monster devoured every single romantic cliche in the world and vomited it back up onto the venue. Sparkly fairy lights, candles, fountains, flowers, everything that Felix finds completely and utterly useless. He wrinkles his nose up at the sight.

“We have to take our entrance photo,” Sylvain says, tugging him forward and then standing on his side, his arms wrapping around Felix’s waist. Felix scowls back at him, and Sylvain raises an eyebrow. “What?! It’s the typical high school couple pose! We _have _to do it, Felix, c’mon!”

He can feel Sylvain laughing behind him. Silently, he summons up all the strength that resides within him not to jam his elbows into Sylvain’s stomach to get him away from him. The click of the camera sounds, and then a flash, and Felix can only imagine the exasperated expression that must be on his face in the photos. Oh, well. Sylvain surely must have known that was what he would get if he invited Felix to a ball.

They make their way further inside. The situation is even worse inside; it looks like it’s straight out of a fairytale and it’s crowded with people. Felix hates every second of it. Thankfully, they spot their friends without too much trouble, and though Felix isn’t generally fond of having more people around, it’s nice to see some familiar faces.

“Oh my god,” Ingrid says flatly. “You’re wearing matching suits.”

“They look adorable,” Mercedes enthuses. “I love the attention to detail in the matching bowties! Oh, and the nice red rose that Sylvain gave to Felix, it adds a bit of a pop to his outfit!”

Felix sighs and looks off to the side, hoping that the attention will be taken off of him soon. Thankfully, Sylvain chimes in with a, “Well, of course I’m a taken man, but I still must say that all of you ladies look so lovely tonight! Annette, that color really brings out your eyes, and Mercedes, wow, you are a vision! Ingrid, even you…”

Felix stops listening. Instead, his eyes scan the dance floor - Hilda is dancing with Marianne, and the two of them look very happy, judging by the matching smiles on their faces. Claude has dragged their young teacher out for a whirl, but he notices that Claude’s eyes seem to keep lingering near them, over where Dimitri is standing. _Disgusting, _he thinks, to think that someone like Dimitri would be able to find love. Dorothea seems to be switching between partners, but her eyes keep drifting back over to Edelgard - interesting. None of his friends seem to have taken to the dance floor yet. He glances back, looking at Lysithea being whirled around by some tiny boy about her height, when -

“Hey, Felix,” Sylvain says, standing in front of him with one hand extended. “You wanna do me the honor of dancing with me?”

It’s not like Felix can very well refuse, after all; it’d look suspicious for him not to dance at least one dance with his supposed “boyfriend.” So he relents, taking Sylvain’s outstretched hand and following him to the dance floor. It doesn’t dawn on him until they’re already in the middle of the floor and Sylvain’s snaking his arms around Felix’s waist that Felix realizes it’s a slow song.

_Shit. _Sylvain’s hands leave flames where they touch, flames that match the ones starting to burn in his cheeks. Felix wants to run away.

And he’s seriously considering it, when Sylvain says, “Thank you. Seriously. Thank you for doing this with me.”

“I only did it so you’d stop pestering me and I could have someone to polish my swords, and extra cash, of course,” Felix informs him, though it’s clearly not entirely the truth.

“I never thought you’d agree, actually,” Sylvain says. There’s something weird in his expression, in the way he’s looking at Felix in this moment, something he doesn’t know how to place. “I thought I’d have to bribe you with something even better. Like, I dunno, some limited edition sword or some shit. I feel like I’m really putting you out here.”

Felix wants to roll his eyes at Sylvain’s words - really, the boy knows absolutely nothing about swords - but his eyes catch Sylvain’s again and, _damn, _that gaze. He’s having a hard time believing that girls aren’t lining up to get with Sylvain if _that’s _how he looks at him. Felix feels like he’s going to melt on the spot, though he’d never fucking admit it under threat of death.

And then Sylvain’s leaning down towards him in the middle of the dance floor.

Felix means to pull away. Really, he does. But he feels trapped, somehow, with Sylvain looking at him like that and holding him so gently, trapped in the sense that it all feels too good to jerk away. So instead he stays still, lets Sylvain brush his lips against Felix’s, and then, after a second, starts to move his as well. His hands rise up of their own accord to tangle in Sylvain’s hair. Sylvain kisses softly and sweetly - not at all the aggressive, full-of-tongue kiss that Felix had been expecting from his occasionally too-aggressive best friend. And as they kiss, it suddenly, finally dawns on Felix.

He is completely in love with Sylvain Gautier.

It’s why he feels unpleasant when Sylvain flirts with other girls. It’s why he feels like he might burn alive when Sylvain touches him. It’s why he’d agreed to this whole entire mess in the first place. He’s in love with Sylvain, and he’s kissing him right now, but Sylvain is only kissing him because he thinks it’s the right fucking thing to do to get girls to think he’s good at romance or whatever.

Panicked, Felix jerks back, his eyes widening. Sylvain looks just as shocked. Still, he doesn’t let go as he says, “Shit, Felix. I’m sorry. I should have checked with you first -“

“I can’t do this anymore,” Felix says, backing away from Sylvain. “This was all just an awful idea. Seriously.”

“Wait,” Sylvain says, catching his wrist before he can run away. Felix thinks he’s going to say _finish the dance _or something, so that Sylvain can continue to look like the suave gentleman of the evening. Instead, Sylvain says, “Let’s talk outside, okay?”

Felix nods, because he doesn’t know what else to say. He follows Sylvain around to the back of the building. They both lean against the wall at the edge of the patio, staring out at the dark night sky. Felix has seen his fair share of horribly written, cliche movies, and he knows that this is the part where both would confess against the backdrop of the night sky and then cradle each other tenderly as they kissed.

Felix has never been so envious of a terribly fucking cliché movie.

Sylvain finally lets out a long breath and then turns to look at Felix. “I guess I kind of gave myself away, huh?”

“As a relentless womanizer? I’ve known that about you since you were a kid,” Felix says with a snort. “It’s nothing new that you’d want to drag me into one of your schemes and then end up taking it too far. I’m really not surprised.”

Sylvain’s eyes widen, and it takes Felix a second to register that it must be in surprise. He says, slowly, carefully, “Wait, so you haven’t figured it out yet?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Felix says. He’s starting to feel like he must be missing something big, but no - it’s Sylvain, right? Sylvain that he’s known for forever, Sylvain whose motivations have always been as clear as day to him. What the hell could he possibly be missing here?

“God, you’re even denser than I thought you were,” Sylvain says with a laugh. He shakes his head. “Okay, lemme spell this out for you then, you big dense lump of coal. I don’t have a date for the dance. So rather than going alone or asking a girl to pity go with me, I ask my best friend, but I don’t ask him to go as friends, even though that’d be the easiest thing to do. No, I get him to pretend we’re going romantically. Then I spend the next week pretending to date him. Getting as close as he’ll let me. I make him get matching suits with me. I get him a red rose boutonniere, which, since you clearly did not realize my super subtle and romantic hint, is the universal symbol for true love. I get him to slow dance with me. I kiss him in the middle of the dance floor because I can’t even fucking help myself anymore. And somehow he still seems to think this is all part of my scheme to get a _woman_.”

It takes three long seconds for it to dawn on Felix what Sylvain is trying to communicate, and then he thinks, _oh, holy fucking shit. _

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Felix growls, and then he’s grabbing Sylvain’s collar, yanking Sylvain back towards him again.

Kissing Sylvain is even better when he knows that Sylvain is an enthusiastic participant as well. It’s even better when there’s no one around to watch, when he’s certain that this is just for the two of them, that Felix is, for whatever reason, the one that Sylvain actually wants to do this with. It’s the best when Sylvain pulls back, his gaze adoring, smile wide, and says, “Hey, guess what? I love you.”

“Why say guess what if you’re not even going to let me guess?”

“Guess what? It’s too late now. Anyways, I’m waiting to hear your response…”

Felix almost doesn’t want to say it, but the years have not made him any better at saying no to Sylvain, so he avoids Sylvain’s gaze and says, “For some weird reason, I guess, I kind of love you. Awful personality, annoying flirting and all.”

Sylvain’s laughing even louder now, his hands coming up to cup Felix’s face. His thumbs brush stray pieces of hair out of Felix’s face. “Whoa, you’re blushing again! I make you blush, huh?”

“Don’t push your luck,” Felix growls.

“Hey, I don’t think I heard all of your sweet confession the first time. Mind repeating it?”

“I’m gonna kill you,” Felix hisses, lunging forward at Sylvain, but a still laughing Sylvain catches Felix in his arms and Felix kind of gets a little distracted when Sylvain kisses him again and again.

.

Once they finally make it back into the main building, Sylvain’s hand warm around Felix’s, the dance is almost over. All of their friends are sending them knowing gazes and Felix wants to evaporate or explode, either one, as long as it meant he’d disappear from this place. He settles for glaring back at them. It’s unfortunate that all of them have become immune to his typically terrifying gaze.

“Looks like you two had a romantic night,” Annette says.

“I was looking for the two of you, but I suppose I should have guessed that you’d want to be alone,” Ashe says with a chuckle.

“It’s not even like that,” Felix says even though it’s very much like that. Still, he doesn’t want his group of idiot friends to _know _that.

“You missed Dimitri getting dragged into line dancing by Claude,” Ingrid says, sounding slightly bemused. “And then Dimitri dragged Dedue with him, which went about as well as we’d expected.”

“It was very entertaining!” Mercedes agrees.

“I’m sorry we missed it, then,” Sylvain says, but he inches closer to Felix as though he’s not sorry at all.

Ingrid shakes her head. “I really should have expected this of you two. As insufferable in love as you are in everything else.”

It takes a lot of restraint and Sylvain’s fingers on his hand to stop Felix from flipping her the bird.

As the night comes to a close, Felix glances over at Sylvain. “Didn’t you want to go to Hilda’s dumb after party thing or whatever? You were so disgustingly excited about getting invited; it was sickening.”

Sylvain pokes him again in the side, and Felix kicks at his ankle. Finally, Sylvain says, “Hilda’s party is only appealing as a single man out on the town. Now that I’m tied down,” he shoots a lascivious wink at Felix, “I think I’d rather spend the night hanging out with my boyfriend, if that sounds okay to him.”

Because Felix can’t let him off as easily as that, Felix says, “I guess, since I’ve got nothing better to do.”

“What could possibly be better than spending time with me, the man you love?” Sylvain complains, but Felix is already tuning him out as he tugs him towards the door. They’ve got no need to keep up appearances any more, after all.

**Author's Note:**

> This game has taken over my life. I wrote this in one night, so I apologize for any errors and such, and again I've done Blue Lions + 2/3rds of Golden Deer so I'm sure not everyone is 100% in character! I hope you enjoy nonetheless, though, and please leave a comment/kudos if you did!  
Also, please hit me up on Twitter if you want: @todxrxki! I want more people to follow that like FE3H!


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